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"Misery is a Butterfly' was created as an independent project for a university course called New Media Culture in the School of Journalism and Mass Communication at the University of Minnesota, lead by Dr. Shayla Thiel-Stern. An open-ended project, we were given free reign to explore an issue or topic touched upon in class on an in-depth, insightful level. "Misery is a Butterfly' is the consummation of my research that, while thorough, hopefully leaves one with more questions than answers.
Mahatmi Ghandi once wrote, "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." It has taken me years to truly understand the depth of truth to this statement and I still work to live by it daily. It saddens me, however, that in my opinion, we live increasingly in a world where people are learning to do just the opposite. We are taught to look a certain way, to think certain things, and to be certain people. In doing so, we get so caught up in trying to be someone or something that we forget who we really are. We stay wrapped in our cocoons of comfort, so to speak, living "safely" because we are either too afraid or too tired to be something more. In doing this, we fail to realize our potential to be something different, and perhaps, something better. Most important of all, we fail to be true to ourselves. It is only through the pain of metamorphosis that we can truly be happy.
As someone who has had their own share of struggles within the eating disorder realm, I found this project to be a perfect opportunity to shed light onto a topic that, while beginning to gain more awareness and understanding, is still largely misunderstood in contemporary society. In my own experience, it feels as though there is an oversimplified notion about disordered eating that fails to address the complexity of both the illness, as well as the factors that contribute to its development. Although disordered eating has existed all throughout history, the prevalence of eating disorders in recent years has grown at an alarming rate, and this is something that people should be paying attention to. While there has been an explosion of research in academia linking the development of eating disorders to excessive exposure of the hegemonic "thin ideal" that pervades the mass media, we must be careful to not limit the issue only to media effects. Research has also begun to explore biological and genetic factors contributing to the development of eating disorders, but again, I feel it is imperative to take a plurastic approach as opposed to focusing blindly on one ultimate cause. Indeed, I believe it is necessary to take into account cultural and sociological factors as well to explore eating disorders on a deeper level: within the fundamentals of identity development.
Modern technology has completely changed the way we communicate on a basic level, and ultimately, the way we live. Online communities and social networks such as Facebook, Myspace, Livejournal, and YouTube, to name only a few, are explicit examples of new media that inform not only new ways of communicating, but also work to change the way we create, maintain, and express our identity. This project looks to explore the ways in which interactive media a) work to facilitate identity construction, maintenance, and reconstruction for those with eating disorders, and b) specifically, how it can be empowering in destructive ways but also an incredible tool for healing. The Internet as a new site for the construction and exhibition of the self indeed presents a dark side, but at the same time, offers an exhilirating sort of freedom to challenge social values and even our minds. And this exploration is what lies at the heart of 'Misery is a Butterfly.'
I certainly hope this project can provide insight into an increasingly important issue in our society. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions, concerns, or comments. Most of all, thank you for visiting.
This website is designed to be interactive so as to allow visitors to explore as little or as much as they would like. All photographs, videos, and text excerpts are embedded with links to their original location on the web. I encourage you to explore the website in an interactive matter, clicking on the links and examining the content in its original form - truly, this is meant to be a starting point of exploration on the web, not an ending point.
As hard as I worked on this project and as extensive as I tried to be, it is extremely important to note that 'Misery of a Butterfly' is limited in its scope. It represents only a fraction of what is actually out there on the web with relation to disordered eating and in many ways, this project is a reflection of some of my own personal experiences. Thus, this project represents a limited view. Disordered eating is growing increasingly more common in both younger and older women, as well as men, and their experiences with eating disorders and interactions with Web 2.0 may differ from what is shown here. This project primarily examines the way teens and young adults (14 - 24) use the web interactively with regards to eating disorders, and I ask visitors to keep this in mind while exporing the site.
