Something is wrong
"Beauty is not how skinny you can be."
"We have been lead to believe that if you can't fit into the smallest dress size possible then forget it, you're not beautiful. Who came up with that? And why do we believe it? No matter how much you try you may never get to that special number. You probably weren't born with that body type! What's wrong with being at any size as long as you are in good health? You have the power to stop it. Be healthy! Get to your right size - not someone else's." -- Samantha MuggleA lighter side of FLICKR
Caiti Anne: January 7, 2010
"Three years ago, I started to develop anorexia.
One year ago, I started treatment.
I am in treatment now.
It's hard.
I'm insecure.
I don't like eating in front of people.
Sometimes I don't like eating.
Sometimes I want to go back to my old jeans size, not wear these new ones that are bigger.
I don't know why I'm saying this here except that it is the reason I take photos. It is what pushes me every day.
I have to look at myself.
I see what other people see, instead of what I see, and it is both terrifying and freeing.
I have an eating disorder.
That is all. "
A darker side of ANA: Elle's story
Elle had it all, but she didn't see that.
"For my loving sister Elle who was taken age 14 by anorexia. It's a hard thing to understand. She was sooo happy, funny and crazy :D but something inside her told her differently. She had her whole life ahead of her. She could have been anything but she will always be with us. x If any of you know anyone who is suffering please help them. Don't let time run out for another."
LJ: Recovery Support Groups
euphoric1dr in ed_recovery on Livejournal
"Hi.
you are all the most beautiful people in the world. i can't emphasize that enough.
thank you to all for feedback on my most recent post!
i'm so ...done wanting to make up for, atone for whatever, feel guilt, keep on these notions of 'i'm not deserving of good health, good food' like 'normal' people..i'm done with 'not ever being good enough.' i want healing, i want peace, i want nourishment and i just want to give my body fuel so it can allow my mind to re-engage and enjoy the world, fall in love with life everyday.
thank you all again for your inspiring, encouraging, incredibly supportive words and advice! you all inspire me greatly. we can all do this! stay strong. <3"
Lou Federer: BEFORE
"Never before have I done a photos video of me. But this is it. Maybe some of you will ridicule me. But this is just the way it was - in its honest brutality. Never again will I return to this... Thanks for your support. You're all so very dear to me. x"
Lou's Story
One girl's road to recovery on the web
Lou Federer began posting video blogs on YouTube in June 2007. Her most recent posts are very different than the ones you would find from two years ago, however. In fact, her YouTube stream is quite different than most YouTube users in general, as it is a stream that documents her road to recovery from an eating disorder on a very intimate level. While her initial videos focused on eating disorder practices with no details spared, such as glorifying her binge/bulimia days or discussing the effects of an apple-only diet on her digestive system, beginning in April 2008, they began to change their focus. Lou began her road to recovery and her videos became more focused on defeating her eating disorder. In August 2008, Lou considered herself fully recovered. Today, in March 2010, she is still actively video blogging. Although her videos focus less on her eating disorder and more on her day to day life at university, she still offers a voice of encouragement for those wanting to recover. "The reason I wanted to recover is because I knew I had goals and aspirations that were just unachievable with an eating disorder," she says. Clearly, she has come along way. Now an I.B. student in the U.K., the 21-year old is living a life of a balance. "There is a happy medium out there," she says, "and I'm loving it."
Lou Federer: AFTER
** This clip is from September 2008, a month after Lou felt fully recovered from her eating disorder. This clip marks the beginning of a life - both online and off - no longer dominated by anorexia and bulimia. To view more recent clips, visit her YouTube stream here.
